I suppose this actually has more to do with my hometown than New York. To put this in perspective, about ten years ago I met someone and for a long time we knew we cared deeply for each other but were never able to make it work.
During the period of time when we first met, I wrote a (bad) poem for her. I've forgotten everything except the title, but every so often this person and I strike up a virtual conversation and every so often it comes up that she's kept the poem all this time.
Through the miracle of the internet, her and I are now "friends" on myspace.com. Late at nite sometime this past week, I was filling out a survey she posted and had the opportunity to use the title of the poem for one of the answers. The next day I had a comment on my page telling me she still had the poem. It made me do some thinking and the following is the message I sent to her.
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Thanks for the message about the poem - long time ago, huh? I think it's been ten years this past spring that we met, actually. If that doesn't make both of us feel old, I don't know what will.
I don't remember what it said, but I'm glad you kept it all this time because I don't have anything tangible from those years of my life anymore. While I'm happy where I am now, I've spent a lot of time running away from Lancaster. I've denied being from there, I've dropped my number of visits a year and how long they are, and have either lost touch with or alienated my close friends from that area. I go there to see my family, and a friend of mine who lives in Ephrata.
I am glad to have been able to strike up a virtual conversation with you on here, though. It's funny how even with multiple, elongated breaks in our decade long friendship, I'm still able to pour out my heart on the page to you.
That's what being told you kept a poem I wrote for you ten years ago does for me, I suppose. It doesn't make me go all weepy, it doesn't make me feel like blushing, and it doesn't make me question if we were in love then, are still in some way now, or ever will be again (I think we've both outgrown that.)
What it does is remind me that there's more memories than those of denials, lost connections and alienation. I had some good times while I lived there, and you have a small piece of my history to prove that. It's more than I have, and honestly, sometimes it's nice to be reminded of it.
Thanks and Love
G.
